Enduring Churches Podcast with Alan and Trent

Episode 18: How to Deal with Cliques

Episode 18: How to Deal with Cliques

What is a clique?

• It's a closed group that has the intent of being an open group.
  • Is it just an affinity group?
  • ask yourself "is it really a clique or am I just feeling left out?
  • If it truly is a clique - are they helping the ministry of the church or hurting it?
• Most cliques start with a group of people with good intentions.
  • by common interests and a desire for fellowship
  • Small groups being the easiest culptrit
  • Committees, women’s/men’s ministry teams...
  • Student groups
  • Worship teams 
• Cliques are huge deterrent to ministry and church growth

 

• How can we help remove them?
  • Build groups with plans to grow
  • Have honest conversations with ministry leaders?
  • Create opportunities that cause groups to become flexible naturally…
    • get groups interacting with other groups
    • Do planned outreach events
  • Make continual pathways for new groups to form
    • Look for new leaders from existing groups
  • Make sure you are not part of one

Episode 17: Pastoring A Family Run Church

Episode 17: Pastoring A Family Run Church

 

How does a family get into places of power in a church?

 

1. They are often faithful givers
2. They are often willing servers
3. They are often strong relationally

 

Which of the characteristics do you not want?

 

When does it become a problem?

 

1. When giving has conditions
2. When service isn't shared
3. When relationships are severed
4. When there is a leadership void -churches that change pastors a lot often have this dynamic.

 

How to deal with the dynamic:

 

1. Identify them quickly. Easy notice who people look at when groups enter the building. Notice who always has people around them.
2. Be able to identify your vision clearly.
3. Build relationships with all people, but build bridges to the family of influence.
4. Whenever a leadership void opens, fill it with someone outside the family as quickly as possible.
5. See warning signs of potential trouble and work to align the family with the church' vision.
6. Be patient. In the first 5 years, you will likely not have more influence than the family. Beyond the first 5 years, you begin to gain the credibility.
7. Avoid backbiting and when necessary hold your ground.

Episode 16: Focus on the Positive

Episode 16: Focus on the Positive

 

Proverbs 18:19   An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars. 

 

 

If you live by the praise of people - you will die by their criticism

 

Products of positivity

1. peace
2. forgiveness
3. opportunity
   1. to encourage your church family
   2. to show your faith and strength in a deeper way to your church family
4. Sleep

 

How to maintain your positivity

1. Give thanks for those you have that are living out Jesus
2. Sundays - always say thank you to those who serve
3. Remind your folks that you trust in God and not in men
4. Change your expectations - expect things to go right and well

Episode 15: Don't Count Me Out

Episode 15: Don't Count Me Out

 

Start the conversation in your church

Can we include those with disabilities in ministry

 

Here is the major question you have to wrestle with  - will our church do "Ministry to" or "Ministry team"

 

Where to start

1. Start with a conversation  -

• Make sure to have a line of communication with family members 
• Have those with limitations - take you on a tour of your church

Work on access - make your buildings accessible

• all on one level
• Ramps and elevators - legal issues in new buildings
• playgrounds
• bathrooms
• wide doors
• Certain paint colors and media issues

Invite those folks to participate and make it possible

• We have started with children - making it easy for them to participate in musicals 
• Camp - whole nutha animal 
• Adults - its harder to get them involved - but ask and don't give up

Our goal is to create as many pathways for service as possible

 

 

Love 1 God

Love All People - who in your church is underserved?

Episode 14: Mission Control

Episode 14: Mission Control

 

3 important statements:

 

1. Missions is something we do - missional is something we are.
2. Missions can cultivate or crush a missional mindset.
3. A missional approach takes time to cultivate.

 

2 warnings:

 

1. Being missional locally without doing or supporting missions beyond is short-sighted.
2. Doing missions without engaging your congregation in serving its community is disobedient.

 

Some solutions:

1. Find a way to serve your community

• Serve a school
• Service day
• Food bank
• Consider an alternative service time for people who work Sundays
• Individual church member projects

Explore a mission partnership beyond your community.

• • Are there options within your denomination?
  • Missions conference
  • Missions agency
  • Partnering with a larger church

Episode 13: Placed and Called

Episode 13: Placed and Called

 

Some thoughts about our calling:

1. General versus specific: called generally first
2. Short-term versus long-term:
3. The constancy of a call in our lives.
4. The freshness of God’s call

 

Issues we face constantly regarding our calling and the calling of others in our churches.

 

 

Organism Issue -The church as a body, family

Organization Issue - How God places us.

 

God places a church to accomplish His purposes.

He placed your church on purpose for a purpose.

Every part of the family is essential to accomplishing God's purpose.

 

Communicate to your body that every part is essential

Every person is called…including you.

 

Recognizing that you are called does these things

1. helps you rely on God
2. keeps you there when things are tough
3. encourages commitment to the family

Episode 12: Dying For a Change

Episode 12: Dying for a Change

 

For most people changes must be mourned like a death.

 

The Classic responses of people toward change

• Innovators
• Early adopters
• Early Majority
• Late Majority
• Laggards (which includes some never)

 

May be different for different people in different areas of life

 

1. Have an honest expectation about change…some people will struggle

• Worship wars are a great example. You change the style of worship, that is a huge change. People enjoy what they enjoy

Have your rationale clear as to why you are making a change.

• If you can’t explain it clearly, don’t expect people to adjust.

Allow people to share their feelings without casting judgment.

• People are not unspiritual if they struggle with change.

Remember grief is a process, and people need time to adjust to a new reality. Handle change personally the way you expect others to deal with change. Don’t let the fear of death keep you from changing.

Episode 11: Pastoring Your Community

Episode 11: Pastoring Your Community

Show Notes

 

#1: Your role is bigger than your church.

 

#2: You have to be visible in your community.

 

#3: You have to be available at community events/activities.

 

#4: Doing funerals well gives you a great opportunity to serve your community.

 

#5: Stay close to your schools and school leaders.

 

#6: Find something in your community to do do that helps you build relationships outside the church.

 

#7: Avoid being shocked when asked odd requests.

 

• Phone call to pray for a sick pet

 

#8: Speak well of your community.

 

#9: Get your church out into your community.

 

#10: Avoid acting entitled.

 

Remember: All of this takes TIME

Episode 10: The Coyote Principle

Episode10 Notes: The Coyote Principle

 

What does the coyote principle mean?

 

Coyotes howling and yipping at night sounds like there has to be a whole bunch of them but people who study coyotes have found that there are rarely more than 2 or 3 together.   I remember having nightmares of huge packs of coyotes.   

 

So what does that mean for leadership?

1. Just because someone tells you that a whole lot of people are wanting something doesn't make it true.
2. Usually its just 2 maybe 3 - so ask them for names.  Usually they won't give you names because they can't.
3. The Ambush - If they come to you right before preaching or a big meeting - ask them to wait so that you can give them your attention afterward.  

 

So how should you respond?

1. Repeat back what you heard and ask "is this what you meant to say?"
2. "I hear what you are saying and I will consider it"
3. "Will you pray with me now about this?" - if they genuinely care about you and the church they will.  If not they are showing that they are trying to manipulate you. Don't have to respond with defensive excuses.  just listen or not

 

Dealing with the criticism

1. You don't always have to respond 
2. Evaluate and see if the concerns reveal some things that you really need to consider and change.
3. Make it easy for them to leave
4. Get help and support from your lay leaders
5. Guard your conversations about them: less is more
6. Watch out for bitterness

Episode 9: Scheduling the Daily Grind

For most of us - every day is different so having a set schedule every day doesn't work unless you're a multiple full time staff church.

 

Scheduling Your Days

• Divide your day into 3 sections: morning; afternoon; evening
  • only work 2 of those sections 
  • so if you have an evening meeting - take off morning or afternoon
  • Schedule tasks during best time of day for you to do that…ie study, emails, appointments, meetings...
• Schedule your sermon prep/ get away from office?
• Schedule a day off
• Don’t use flexibility to short change your church

 

Scheduling times of the year

• There are times that are busier.  If I have camp - then I will take off a few days before and after

 

• Share your leadership…someone said my best 42 were much better than my mediocre 50. Invest and leadership your church to invest in leaders.

 

Family Time

Protect your family time - 

    Schedule it

    Leave town

    Have deacons or someone that will cover for emergencies