Loading Downloads
200Episodes

Alan and Trent are pastors helping churches and leaders make a difference and last.

August 8, 2022

Episode 176: Generosity in Uncertain Times

Episode 176: Generosity in Uncertain Times
 
Principal #1: If you want generous givers, be a generous church.
  • give to missions
  • invest in your people
Principal #2: Generosity must be discussed and modeled by the person in the pulpit.
  • can't ignore the importance of generosity, even if its uncomfortable
  • people pay attention, if you are not generous with your time  and resources, neither will they.
Principal #3: The best way to set up your giving parameters is on a proportional basis.
  • setting generosity giving on a percentage basis covers you in times of abundance as well as in times of scarcity
Principal #4: Remember the role of planning ahead.
  • The Joseph plan....put some aside in the better times for the trying times.
Principal #5: Share stories of generosity.
Principal #6: Living generously allows the freedom for God to supply our need.
  • A closed fist cannot receive.
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
August 1, 2022

Episode 175: Do Mission Trips Matter?

Episode 175: Do Mission Trips Matter?

 

Mission Trips Matter!

  1. They are essential for for church health
  2. They expand our church's missional footprint
  3. They enlarge your church's vision
  4. They change your personal perspective
 
 
Keys to a good mission trip
  1. find a person of peace
  2. Take off your watch
  3. Don't be a person of fear
  4. work local but also Look beyond your local area
  5. talk about it - tell the story - not statistics
  6. Be flexible with all things
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
July 25, 2022

Episode 174: The Danger of Isolation

Episode 174: The Danger of Isolation

 

Why do we isolate ourselves?
 
  • hurt
  • pride
  • bad theology
  • fear of being wrong or looking bad
 
Leads to
isolated relationships -
 
  • physical and emotional distance
  • diminishing trust
  • a lack of discipleship
 
 
isolated thinking
 
  • confirmation bias
  • unimproved ideas
  • low buy in
  • ever changing ideas
 
When you act alone, you'll find yourself alone.
 
Train leaders in your church
  • allow them to give honest feedback
  • be big enough to accept it
 
Find 2 or three people you trust outside your church who understand your role.
  • other church leader
  • organizational leader
  • trusted friend
 
More than accountability, they have to help you bring out the best you.
 
 
July 18, 2022

Episode 173: Is Your Invitation Inviting?

Episode 173: Is Your Invitation Inviting?

The loneliest place in the world - pastor standing in front of his congregation during invitation.
 
Sometimes our invitations are not inviting
 
What is an invitation?
 
Does your church do or expect an invitation?
 
Are your folks used to coming and praying at the altar? Is there a culture of worship at the altar?
 
Is it important to have an invitation during every service?
 
Is every invitation supposed to be the same?
 
Dealing with children and youth
 
Tips to make it more inviting
  1. know your audience
  2. Don't presssure
  3. create an atmosphere of safety for decisions and for prayer at the altar
  4. Don't make it an add on
 
 
 
 
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
July 11, 2022

Episode 172: Structural Damage

Episode 172: Structural Damage

Churches sometimes make failure possible with these structural problems:

  1. Deacon's who control and don't serve
  2. Pastors who control everything
  3. Leadership teams that are too big or too small
  4. Useless committees and teams
    1. temas versus committees
  5. indefinite commitments
  6. Unreviewed documents
    • constitution every 5 years
      • build so you can grow 5 x times bigger
    • by-laws every couple of years
    • policies every year
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
July 4, 2022

Episode 171: Rachelle and Dana Join Us to talk Encouragement

Episode 171: Rachelle and Dana Join Us to talk Encouragement

We hope you enjoy this special edition on July 4 featuring a discussion with our wives on the subject of encouragement. 

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
June 27, 2022

Episode 170: All the Premarital Stuff

Episode 170: All the Premarital Stuff
 
Had a conversation with a pastor - He was preparing for a wedding - Many pastors don't do weddings enough to have a plan - So here is a plan!
 
Why Pre-marital counseling is important
  1. Deal with issues now that would cause fights later
  2. Opportunity to make sure the couple is "evenly yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
    1. if not share Jesus with them both
  3. Develop a relationship so they feel they have someone to turn to later when they are struggling.
  4. Very few couples have godly marriages to mentor them. Even kids who grew up in Christian homes may not have had parents who were intentional about training them how to be a godly husband/wife.
  5. Even if you do not want to do the counseling for the couple, you must encourage them to seek counseling from a Christian counselor or another pastor. You will still need to meet with them to plan the ceremony.
 
When should premarital counseling begin?
  1. The answer to this relates to the next question but recommend 3 months before wedding
  2. Pastor in Colorado who does pre-engagement counseling. If you haven't done counseling with him before you get engaged, he won't do your wedding. His reason is that once a couple is engaged, it is nearly impossible to tell them they shouldn't get married if you feel they are incompatible.
 
How many sessions?
  1. Recommend 6 sessions if this is the first marriage for both.
  2. Recommend 8 sessions if this is not the first marriage for either.
    1. Mention Bill and Jen Rogers Stepfamily Mission Possible ministry. [Link to Episode 157] Many stepfamily couples will benefit from hearing from couples who have been through similar circumstances.
 
What should happen during a counseling session?
  1. Sessions should only last 1 hour
    1. 30 minutes for ceremony planning - remind them that this is their ceremony - not mom's
    2. 30 minutes for counseling ( some issues may come up during the ceremony planning that may uncover a counseling need)
 
What tools should we use?
Trent and Dana (I recommend that you include your spouse) recommend the SYMBIS tool. [Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott symbis.com] We have our own schedule but SYMBIS helps you keep a schedule and make sure you have input from the couple and that you cover all the relevant topics.
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Finances
    • Sex
    • Expectations
    • In-laws
    • Spirituality
    • Friends
    • Common interests
 
Wedding rehearsal - tips to keep it from being a circus
  1. Please have a rehearsal with all the folks who will be involved in the ceremony.
  2. If possible have the rehearsal after the rehearsal dinner. 
  3. Rehearsal should only last 30 minutes
    1. introduce yourself to family and wedding party - then pray
    2. place everyone on the stage and get bride's approval for placement of people
    3. practice leaving
    4. practice entering and getting into place
    5. talk through schedule and make sure everyone knows what they are doing (rings, handing off bouquet etc)
    6. If you have the ceremony planned before hand with the couple - this will go smoothly - the rehearsal is not the time to make decisions. 
    7. If one of the "moms" tries to make changes - simply respond with "I appreciate your ideas but this is how the couple would like things to happen." 
    8. last thing is to tell everyone what time to be there for pictures and ask who will bring the marriage license
 
Wedding day
  1. check in with Bridal party
  2. check in with groom dudes
  3. Make sure rings and marriage license are there
  4. make sure you have all that you need including printed ceremony and mic if necessary
  5. after the ceremony, sign the marriage license and talk to the couple about their plan for filing it with the county clerk

SYMBIS Pre-marital Assessment

 

Our Interview with Bill and Jenn Rogers

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
June 20, 2022

Episode 169: Breaking Up is Hard to Do!

 
Episode 169: Breaking Up is Hard to Do!
Conflict will usually need to end in one of four ways:
  1. Compromise
  2. Concession
  3. Coexistence
  4. Coercion
 
If you pastor long enough, you will deal with this situation...a moment you and someone else or a group of people have to agree to disagree, but there is not enough agreement to keep the parties together.
 
Example: Paul and Barnabas over John Mark
  • This wasn't a theological issue
  • Conflict of vision and leadership styles
  • We don't know all the outcomes relationally, but it appears that the separation did not end their relationship.
  • That should be our goal
 
Some questions to ask:
  1. Are there other options? Can we compromise, Can I lose this battle?
  2. How much are my emotions controlling my thoughts and my conversation?
  3. Can I bless the other person?
  4. How does my response reflect the character of Christ?
  5. Am I leaving a door open for reconciliation?
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
June 13, 2022

Episode 168: The Servant Leadership Soapbox

Episode 168: he Servant Leadership Soapbox
 
The frustration is that leadership has been confused with seeking power and servanthood has been associated with nobility
  • power is the most intoxicating force in the world. and when it gets associated with money or sex, its even more powerful
  • dares to bring down everyone around it.
 
We need leaders who have the heart of servants.
  • John Maxwell suggested leadership is influence...most definitions I see use a word like influence or motivation.
  • Leadership is powerful, but it is not power
  • People in ministries are to be influencers.
  • Leadership occurs naturally, you cannot hide influence.
  • It's opposite is follower; the fair critique is that many leaders have forgotten they too are followers
 
We need servants who have a true piety
  • a servant performs duties on behalf of another
  • servanthood is only as strong as the reason behind the service.
    • wicked servant in some of Jesus' parables.
  • Not all servants are noble, just like not all leaders are power hungry.
    • do we serve wanting others to see us or do we serve because  it's the right thing to do.
  • Its opposite is master, seeking to have others serve us.
    • Master is the condition of people who have no desire to serve, only want to be served.
 
We should all strive to be good servants.
We should develop our leadership to enhance our influence.
June 6, 2022

Episode 167: One Year In

Episode 167: One Year In

 

Today, Trent and Alan talk about reflections to make one year into a new ministry.

 

 

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com