Enduring Churches Podcast with Alan and Trent

Episode 53: Habits of Happy Pastors

Episode 53: Habits of Happy Pastors

 

They Maintain an Optimistic Outlook

• Is it in your nature?
• You can develop the trait.
• Faith plays a role.
• Ask yourself some questions about what is going on in your life?

They Don’t Compare themselves to Others

• Bigger is not always better
• Influence is relative
• Be true to yourself
• “When you compare yourself to others you lose every time."

They Exercise Gratitude

• Is it only a Thanksgiving thing?
• Optimism leads to gratitude
• “Is there somebody in my life who has blessed me?"
  • Thank them

They Engage the World with Kindness

• People are beat down and in need of kindness.
• Kindness requires tenderness and forgiving.
• Don’t let cynicism make you unkind.
• Practice "random acts of kindness."

 

They Maintain Active Friendships

• Avoid “stinking’ thinkin’” - Zig Zigler
• Invest in the relationship.
• Have friends both inside and outside the church.

Episode 52: Revisiting Those Pesky Coyotes

Episodes 52: Revisiting those Pesky Coyotes

 

From last time: Episode 10

So what does that mean for leadership.  

1. just because someone tells you that a whole lot of people are wanting something doesn't make it true.
2. usually its just 2 maybe 3 - so ask them for names.  usually they won't give you names because they can't.
3. The Ambush - If they come to you right before preaching or a big meeting - ask them to wait so that you can give them your attention afterward.  

 

So how should you respond?

1. Repeat back what you heard and ask "is this what you meant to say?"
2. "I hear what you are saying and I will consider it"
3. "Will you pray with me now about this?" - if they genuinely care about you and the church they will.  If not they are showing that they are trying to manipulate you.
4. Don't have to respond with defensive excuses.  just listen or not

 

Dealing with the criticism

1. You don't always have to respond

• "You don’t have to swing at every pitch

evaluate and see if their is some things that you really need to consider and change. Make it easy for them to leave Get help and support from your lay leaders Guard your conversations about them: less is more Watch out for bitterness

 

New

Who is more important than the what.

• Can’t give you a name, no issue.
• Critical person or an antagonist?

 

The what usually involves a change or a perceived attitude.

Episode 51: Avoiding the Wedding Blues

Episode 51: Avoiding the Wedding Blues

Set your policies

• Counseling required?
  • Do it yourself
    • Trent requires 6 meetings if they have never been married before
    • 8 meetings if they have been married before
    • meet for 1 hour at a time - 30 minutes planning ceremony and 30 minutes on couseling topics
    • SYMBIS - Saving your marriage before it starts
    • Contact Trent and Alan if you would like a list of topics and resources to use 
  • From a professional - know when to send them to a professional
• Who will you marry?
  • Living together
  • Unequally yoked
  • Re-marriage
• Vows
• location rules (church or other location)

Establish Expectations

• A wedding consultant or planner?
• Just the ceremony?
• Need to be at rehearsal? - yes!
• reception - make an appearance when possible

 

Use a guide

• Minister’s handbook
• Be flexible

 

Rehearsal

    Dinner first then have wedding party slip away and practice

    Make it quick -  Rehearsal is not the time to plan the ceremony - should already 

                            have that done.

                             pray

                            place everyone - and check with Bride and make sure 

                            practice exiting

                            practice entering

                            You're done!

 

Episode 50: How not to Bury Your Ministry in Funerals

Episode 50: How not to Bury Your Ministry in Funerals

 

Know the expectations:

• Regional differences
• Cremation versus burials
• Time between death and service (role changes as time increases)

 

Early On:

• Develop a relationship with your local funeral directors.
• Meet with the family at the funeral home if possible. Harder in larger cities and with corporate services.
• Ask and listen for personal stories.
• Encourage the family and pray often.
• Plan to be flexible.

 

Planning you service:

• Obituary versus opening thoughts or Scripture
  • Sometimes I read the obituary, but if its printed; I prefer to encourage through Scripture and wisdom.
• How much music? Slide shows and/or pictures?
• Will others be speaking/ will there be an open mic?
• Putting your message together
  • Use outside resources to help create a database of passages
  • Be both honest and loving
    • "If  _________________ could speak with us today…"
  • Be evangelistic within your role as a comforter of the grieving.
  • Use personal touches
  • Use the loved one's Bible if possible
  • Usually 20 minutes tops
• Remember we can start to say the same things too often they lose impact. 

 

Gravesides and follow-up:

• Keep it short: prayer and acknowledge the family.
• Give a resource...
  • Good Grief by Granger Westberg

Interview 8: Our interview with Nick Howard

Nick and Susan Howard would love to have you follow their ministry: If you would like to receive their newsletter, send an email to nashoward81@gmail.com 

 

Pick up the book Simple Church and keep things simple and strategic.

Episode 49: Exasperated and at the End of My Rope

Episode 49: Esxasperated and at the End of My Rope

 

What does it mean to come to the end of ourselves.

 

• We have done the right things.

 

• When we have no easy answers and no way out.

 

• When all we have to rely fully on the promises and provision of God.

 

We get to the end of ourselves when...

 

• Our abilities seem insignificant.

            Trust your ability…I have used that line often over the years.

 

• Our failures seem insurmountable.

 

• Our circumstances seem impossible.

 

• Our fears seem impenetrable.

 

How can we respond?

 

• We acknowledge our desperation.

 

• We immerse ourselves in the words of God.

 

• We practice active rest. 

I7: Our Interview with Teresa Young

Click for more information about Wayland Baptist University

Episode 48: Building Blues

Episode 48: Building Blues

 

Considerations for building:

 

1. The makeup of the community.
2. The age of the building.
3. The costs of upgrades.
4. The size of your auditorium and welcome area.
5. Bigger is not always better.

 

How to finance:

 

1. Cash basis - ideal
   • time constraints
2. Loan options

• Denominational help
• Commercial loan
• Specific church lender
• Personal loans from members - super bad idea

Bonds - not very common or beneficial today Grants - not common, lots of strings attached

 

Stewardship Campaigns

1. Require long-term leadership
2. Have a short shelf-life of interest
3. Are best when tied to other initiatives

 

Construction

1. General contractor  
2. Church help  
3. Volunteer help
4. Combinations of all them

I6: Our Interview with Paul McGiniss

Check out Paul and VOMO for you volunteer management solutions.

For more about the Half Time Institute and cohort or individual coaching.

Episode 47: Adding Staff

Episode 47: Adding Staff

 

Look at this as a major event in your church family

Pray! Pray and pray some more!

 

Look at it from 2 perspectives

 

From the Pastor's perspective

1. 1. What jobs can only I do?
   2. What jobs do I need to give away?
   3. What ministry jobs suck the life out of me?
   4. What am I doing that is keeping me from accomplishing my calling?
   5. Am I just trying to take care of a friend?
   6. Am I as pastor prepared to supervise another person.

From the Church perspective

1. 1. Will a staff position take away from lay ministry?
   2. Will this make financial sense?
   3. Are we doing this just to make someone or a group happy?
   4. Are we hiring someone just to cover up issues that we don't want to deal with?

After answering questions and praying through this - 

1. Go through the proper channels in your church
2. Get a team on board to promote and plan and develop a job description
3. Keep praying
4. Don't settle 

 

Once they are on-board

1. Communicate the plan for supervision
2. Watch for communication landmines
3. Have the "team" meet with the new staff member monthly for 6 months just to encourage and answer questions- then again at the end of first year.