Enduring Churches Podcast with Alan and Trent

Episode 175: Do Mission Trips Matter?

Episode 175: Do Mission Trips Matter?

 

Mission Trips Matter! They are essential for for church health They expand our church's missional footprint They enlarge your church's vision They change your personal perspective     Keys to a good mission trip find a person of peace Take off your watch Don't be a person of fear work local but also Look beyond your local area talk about it - tell the story - not statistics Be flexible with all things Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com Facebook Website

Episode 174: The Danger of Isolation

Episode 174: The Danger of Isolation

 

Why do we isolate ourselves?   hurt pride bad theology fear of being wrong or looking bad   Leads to isolated relationships -   physical and emotional distance diminishing trust a lack of discipleship     isolated thinking   confirmation bias unimproved ideas low buy in ever changing ideas   When you act alone, you'll find yourself alone.   Train leaders in your church allow them to give honest feedback be big enough to accept it   Find 2 or three people you trust outside your church who understand your role. other church leader organizational leader trusted friend   More than accountability, they have to help you bring out the best you.     Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com Facebook Website

Episode 173: Is Your Invitation Inviting?

Episode 173: Is Your Invitation Inviting?

The loneliest place in the world - pastor standing in front of his congregation during invitation.   Sometimes our invitations are not inviting   What is an invitation?   Does your church do or expect an invitation?   Are your folks used to coming and praying at the altar? Is there a culture of worship at the altar?   Is it important to have an invitation during every service?   Is every invitation supposed to be the same?   Dealing with children and youth   Tips to make it more inviting know your audience Don't presssure create an atmosphere of safety for decisions and for prayer at the altar Don't make it an add on

 

 

 

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com

Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com

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Episode 172: Structural Damage

Episode 172: Structural Damage

Churches sometimes make failure possible with these structural problems:

1. Deacon's who control and don't serve
2. Pastors who control everything
3. Leadership teams that are too big or too small
4. Useless committees and teams
   1. temas versus committees
5. indefinite commitments
6. Unreviewed documents
   • constitution every 5 years
     • build so you can grow 5 x times bigger
   • by-laws every couple of years
   • policies every year

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com

Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com

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Episode 171: Rachelle and Dana Join Us to talk Encouragement

Episode 171: Rachelle and Dana Join Us to talk Encouragement

We hope you enjoy this special edition on July 4 featuring a discussion with our wives on the subject of encouragement. 

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com

Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com

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Episode 170: All the Premarital Stuff

Episode 170: All the Premarital Stuff

 

Had a conversation with a pastor - He was preparing for a wedding - Many pastors don't do weddings enough to have a plan - So here is a plan!

 

Why Pre-marital counseling is important

1. Deal with issues now that would cause fights later
2. Opportunity to make sure the couple is "evenly yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
   1. if not share Jesus with them both
3. Develop a relationship so they feel they have someone to turn to later when they are struggling.
4. Very few couples have godly marriages to mentor them. Even kids who grew up in Christian homes may not have had parents who were intentional about training them how to be a godly husband/wife.
5. Even if you do not want to do the counseling for the couple, you must encourage them to seek counseling from a Christian counselor or another pastor. You will still need to meet with them to plan the ceremony.

 

When should premarital counseling begin?

1. The answer to this relates to the next question but recommend 3 months before wedding
2. Pastor in Colorado who does pre-engagement counseling. If you haven't done counseling with him before you get engaged, he won't do your wedding. His reason is that once a couple is engaged, it is nearly impossible to tell them they shouldn't get married if you feel they are incompatible.

 

How many sessions?

1. Recommend 6 sessions if this is the first marriage for both.
2. Recommend 8 sessions if this is not the first marriage for either.
   1. Mention Bill and Jen Rogers Stepfamily Mission Possible ministry. [Link to Episode 157] Many stepfamily couples will benefit from hearing from couples who have been through similar circumstances.

 

What should happen during a counseling session?

1. Sessions should only last 1 hour
   1. 30 minutes for ceremony planning - remind them that this is their ceremony - not mom's
   2. 30 minutes for counseling ( some issues may come up during the ceremony planning that may uncover a counseling need)

 

What tools should we use?

Trent and Dana (I recommend that you include your spouse) recommend the SYMBIS tool. [Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott symbis.com] We have our own schedule but SYMBIS helps you keep a schedule and make sure you have input from the couple and that you cover all the relevant topics.

• • Communication
  • Conflict
  • Finances
  • Sex
  • Expectations
  • In-laws
  • Spirituality
  • Friends
  • Common interests

 

Wedding rehearsal - tips to keep it from being a circus

1. Please have a rehearsal with all the folks who will be involved in the ceremony.
2. If possible have the rehearsal after the rehearsal dinner. 
3. Rehearsal should only last 30 minutes
   1. introduce yourself to family and wedding party - then pray
   2. place everyone on the stage and get bride's approval for placement of people
   3. practice leaving
   4. practice entering and getting into place
   5. talk through schedule and make sure everyone knows what they are doing (rings, handing off bouquet etc)
   6. If you have the ceremony planned before hand with the couple - this will go smoothly - the rehearsal is not the time to make decisions. 
   7. If one of the "moms" tries to make changes - simply respond with "I appreciate your ideas but this is how the couple would like things to happen." 
   8. last thing is to tell everyone what time to be there for pictures and ask who will bring the marriage license

 

Wedding day

1. check in with Bridal party
2. check in with groom dudes
3. Make sure rings and marriage license are there
4. make sure you have all that you need including printed ceremony and mic if necessary
5. after the ceremony, sign the marriage license and talk to the couple about their plan for filing it with the county clerk

SYMBIS Pre-marital Assessment

 

Our Interview with Bill and Jenn Rogers

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com

Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com

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Episode 169: Breaking Up is Hard to Do!

Episode 169: Breaking Up is Hard to Do! Conflict will usually need to end in one of four ways: Compromise Concession Coexistence Coercion   If you pastor long enough, you will deal with this situation...a moment you and someone else or a group of people have to agree to disagree, but there is not enough agreement to keep the parties together.   Example: Paul and Barnabas over John Mark This wasn't a theological issue Conflict of vision and leadership styles We don't know all the outcomes relationally, but it appears that the separation did not end their relationship. That should be our goal   Some questions to ask: Are there other options? Can we compromise, Can I lose this battle? How much are my emotions controlling my thoughts and my conversation? Can I bless the other person? How does my response reflect the character of Christ? Am I leaving a door open for reconciliation? Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com Facebook Website

Episode 168: The Servant Leadership Soapbox

Episode 168: he Servant Leadership Soapbox   The frustration is that leadership has been confused with seeking power and servanthood has been associated with nobility power is the most intoxicating force in the world. and when it gets associated with money or sex, its even more powerful dares to bring down everyone around it.   We need leaders who have the heart of servants. John Maxwell suggested leadership is influence...most definitions I see use a word like influence or motivation. Leadership is powerful, but it is not power People in ministries are to be influencers. Leadership occurs naturally, you cannot hide influence. It's opposite is follower; the fair critique is that many leaders have forgotten they too are followers   We need servants who have a true piety a servant performs duties on behalf of another servanthood is only as strong as the reason behind the service. wicked servant in some of Jesus' parables. Not all servants are noble, just like not all leaders are power hungry. do we serve wanting others to see us or do we serve because  it's the right thing to do. Its opposite is master, seeking to have others serve us. Master is the condition of people who have no desire to serve, only want to be served.   We should all strive to be good servants. We should develop our leadership to enhance our influence.

Episode 167: One Year In

Episode 167: One Year In

 

Today, Trent and Alan talk about reflections to make one year into a new ministry.

 

 

 

Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com

Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com

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Episode 166: Do You Procrastinate

Episode 166: Do You Procrastinate

 

Why do we procrastinate? Worry - If you're like me I overthink things and I worry about reactions of others.   We think too much - Things can become huge in my mind - but they really are very small   The 5 rule - If it won't matter in 5 years then don't spend 5 minutes worrying about it   Lots of Distractions It’s not easy to keep focused in a world full of distractions.   Some things we just don't like to do - or we are not good at them What things do you put off because you don't enjoy them? Make a list and do them First and Fast   personality type       But there are 3 steps you can take to end procrastination:   1. Forgive yourself.  - you're normal   Please realize we don’t procrastinate because we’re lazy. The solution is not ‘time management’ or psyching ourselves up.   We procrastinate because our self-worth is hurt in some way. We doubt our capacities or haven’t learned yet to manage our emotions.    That’s why we need to re-shape our belief in ourselves, and that starts by forgiving ourselves!     2. Set up a realistic goal.   The next step is to set up an inspiring but achievable goal.   Why do we set such far away goals like becoming billionaires or changing the world? Many times it’s because we know they can’t be achieved in the short term, so we protect ourselves from ‘failing’ on them.   Do this instead: challenge yourself to very, very small things. Depending on your level of procrastination it can be things like finishing this email, getting up from bed, or sending one report.     The most difficult part is always to start, so make it easy and start small.   3. Accomplish it step by step.   Break your big goals into small, little chunks.   Celebrate accomplishment Every time that you accomplish something, celebrate! Overcoming procrastination is about building your self-esteem way more than forcing yourself to work.   God has created you to do good works and He has prepared them in advance!   Gather a team The things you hate to do are the same things that God has created someone else with the skills and desire to do well.   So ask for help!!!!!