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Episodes
Alan and Trent are pastors helping churches and leaders make a difference and last.
Episodes
Monday Jul 18, 2022
Monday Jul 18, 2022
Episode 173: Is Your Invitation Inviting?
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The loneliest place in the world - pastor standing in front of his congregation during invitation.
Sometimes our invitations are not inviting
What is an invitation?
Does your church do or expect an invitation?
Are your folks used to coming and praying at the altar? Is there a culture of worship at the altar?
Is it important to have an invitation during every service?
Is every invitation supposed to be the same?
Dealing with children and youth
Tips to make it more inviting
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Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
Monday Jul 11, 2022
Monday Jul 11, 2022
Episode 172: Structural Damage
Churches sometimes make failure possible with these structural problems:
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Deacon's who control and don't serve
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Pastors who control everything
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Leadership teams that are too big or too small
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Useless committees and teams
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temas versus committees
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indefinite commitments
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Unreviewed documents
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constitution every 5 years
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build so you can grow 5 x times bigger
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by-laws every couple of years
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policies every year
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Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
Monday Jul 04, 2022
Monday Jul 04, 2022
Episode 171: Rachelle and Dana Join Us to talk Encouragement
We hope you enjoy this special edition on July 4 featuring a discussion with our wives on the subject of encouragement.
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
Monday Jun 27, 2022
Monday Jun 27, 2022
Episode 170: All the Premarital Stuff
Had a conversation with a pastor - He was preparing for a wedding - Many pastors don't do weddings enough to have a plan - So here is a plan!
Why Pre-marital counseling is important
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Deal with issues now that would cause fights later
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Opportunity to make sure the couple is "evenly yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
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if not share Jesus with them both
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Develop a relationship so they feel they have someone to turn to later when they are struggling.
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Very few couples have godly marriages to mentor them. Even kids who grew up in Christian homes may not have had parents who were intentional about training them how to be a godly husband/wife.
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Even if you do not want to do the counseling for the couple, you must encourage them to seek counseling from a Christian counselor or another pastor. You will still need to meet with them to plan the ceremony.
When should premarital counseling begin?
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The answer to this relates to the next question but recommend 3 months before wedding
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Pastor in Colorado who does pre-engagement counseling. If you haven't done counseling with him before you get engaged, he won't do your wedding. His reason is that once a couple is engaged, it is nearly impossible to tell them they shouldn't get married if you feel they are incompatible.
How many sessions?
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Recommend 6 sessions if this is the first marriage for both.
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Recommend 8 sessions if this is not the first marriage for either.
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Mention Bill and Jen Rogers Stepfamily Mission Possible ministry. [Link to Episode 157] Many stepfamily couples will benefit from hearing from couples who have been through similar circumstances.
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What should happen during a counseling session?
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Sessions should only last 1 hour
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30 minutes for ceremony planning - remind them that this is their ceremony - not mom's
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30 minutes for counseling ( some issues may come up during the ceremony planning that may uncover a counseling need)
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What tools should we use?
Trent and Dana (I recommend that you include your spouse) recommend the SYMBIS tool. [Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott symbis.com] We have our own schedule but SYMBIS helps you keep a schedule and make sure you have input from the couple and that you cover all the relevant topics.
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Communication
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Conflict
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Finances
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Sex
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Expectations
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In-laws
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Spirituality
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Friends
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Common interests
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Wedding rehearsal - tips to keep it from being a circus
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Please have a rehearsal with all the folks who will be involved in the ceremony.
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If possible have the rehearsal after the rehearsal dinner.
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Rehearsal should only last 30 minutes
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introduce yourself to family and wedding party - then pray
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place everyone on the stage and get bride's approval for placement of people
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practice leaving
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practice entering and getting into place
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talk through schedule and make sure everyone knows what they are doing (rings, handing off bouquet etc)
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If you have the ceremony planned before hand with the couple - this will go smoothly - the rehearsal is not the time to make decisions.
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If one of the "moms" tries to make changes - simply respond with "I appreciate your ideas but this is how the couple would like things to happen."
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last thing is to tell everyone what time to be there for pictures and ask who will bring the marriage license
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Wedding day
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check in with Bridal party
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check in with groom dudes
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Make sure rings and marriage license are there
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make sure you have all that you need including printed ceremony and mic if necessary
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after the ceremony, sign the marriage license and talk to the couple about their plan for filing it with the county clerk
SYMBIS Pre-marital Assessment
Our Interview with Bill and Jenn Rogers
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
Monday Jun 20, 2022
Monday Jun 20, 2022
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Episode 169: Breaking Up is Hard to Do!
Conflict will usually need to end in one of four ways:
If you pastor long enough, you will deal with this situation...a moment you and someone else or a group of people have to agree to disagree, but there is not enough agreement to keep the parties together.
Example: Paul and Barnabas over John Mark
Some questions to ask:
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
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Monday Jun 13, 2022
Monday Jun 13, 2022
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Episode 168: he Servant Leadership Soapbox
The frustration is that leadership has been confused with seeking power and servanthood has been associated with nobility
We need leaders who have the heart of servants.
We need servants who have a true piety
We should all strive to be good servants.
We should develop our leadership to enhance our influence.
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Monday Jun 06, 2022
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Episode 167: One Year In
Today, Trent and Alan talk about reflections to make one year into a new ministry.
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
Monday May 30, 2022
Monday May 30, 2022
Episode 166: Do You Procrastinate
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Why do we procrastinate?
Worry - If you're like me I overthink things and I worry about reactions of others.
We think too much - Things can become huge in my mind - but they really are very small
The 5 rule - If it won't matter in 5 years then don't spend 5 minutes worrying about it
Lots of Distractions
It’s not easy to keep focused in a world full of distractions.
Some things we just don't like to do - or we are not good at them
What things do you put off because you don't enjoy them?
Make a list and do them First and Fast
personality type
But there are 3 steps you can take to end procrastination:
Please realize we don’t procrastinate because we’re lazy. The solution is not ‘time management’ or psyching ourselves up.
We procrastinate because our self-worth is hurt in some way. We doubt our capacities or haven’t learned yet to manage our emotions.
That’s why we need to re-shape our belief in ourselves, and that starts by forgiving ourselves!
The next step is to set up an inspiring but achievable goal.
Why do we set such far away goals like becoming billionaires or changing the world? Many times it’s because we know they can’t be achieved in the short term, so we protect ourselves from ‘failing’ on them.
Do this instead: challenge yourself to very, very small things. Depending on your level of procrastination it can be things like finishing this email, getting up from bed, or sending one report.
The most difficult part is always to start, so make it easy and start small.
Break your big goals into small, little chunks.
Every time that you accomplish something, celebrate! Overcoming procrastination is about building your self-esteem way more than forcing yourself to work.
God has created you to do good works and He has prepared them in advance!
The things you hate to do are the same things that God has created someone else with the skills and desire to do well. So ask for help!!!!!
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Monday May 23, 2022
Monday May 23, 2022
Episode 165: How To Recapture Lost Vision
Signs of lost vision:
- declining church
- lack of joy
- strife
- nothing that rallies the congregation
Why do we lose vision?
- tired - stopped seeking God
- frustrated - we stop learning
How do we recapture vision
- Go back to basics: start with the Gospel
- Get involved with a visionary
- Find encouragers
- Change your outlook: be positive and set an optimistic tone
- In some cases, ask if it's time to move on.
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Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
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Monday May 16, 2022
Monday May 16, 2022
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Episode 164: Does the Size of a Church Matter?
If size is used as a sole determinant of God's favor, then absolutely not.
However understanding your churches size is important?
Size is fluid for most churches, however some churches practice intentional sizing
Discipleship and leadership development are critical at any size, but it looks different
The smaller the size, the quicker change can take place, but often the consequences of those changes is quite high.
Contact Alan: alan@dtbatogether.com
Contact Trent: gasconadevalleybaptist@gmail.com
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